top of page
  • Amber Shockley
  • 1 min read

What ticked inside my mother’s mother’s

brain to keep her calm enough to do the dishes

by hand? I won’t let this be another modern-day

poem about serotonin when it wants to be about

ancestral anger, about my mother’s breast

cancer, about my grandmother’s yellow house

dress with the pocket, about pockets –

the pockets of my brain that leak serotonin,

my mother’s breast the surgeon left behind,

a ticking pocket, leaking fluid, the calm

house my mother grew up in, her mother

seething like a kettle on a gas stove, hands

in suds, a drying cloth soured near the sink.

What do you think we kept private, all three

of us – what do you think we keep quiet

and tucked away until the steam

screams from an ultrasound machine?


 

My mother's knuckles always

look like they're ready to burst

forth from the skin, too wide

and bulging for birth,

like a newborn's bare bottom.

My mother, born breach,

now folds her hands in her

lap, the long fingers delicate

in the bent way a tall girl

tries to be delicate, and the surgeon

speaks to her as he would a girl, whose

breasts are blooming in reverse.


 
bottom of page